Will I get the chance to raise and be close to the child I never got to raise here?

“Yes... why not? but the feeling over there was so good here I never experienced this moment, not even at the moment my daughter was born, this feeling of peace... of not really wanting to leave that place, and forgetting everything and everyone, of not even knowing their names. And he... I felt like a father, even though I didn't see him. He had... like all fathers do, he kind of... let's say... it's not that he punished me because I don't think it's a punishment, but... it's like mandatory. .. "Okay, if you're not going willingly, you're going pushed".”19:14

“But I still wanted to say goodbye to my husband and the people who had put so much effort into saving me. And so, I came back to the birthing room and saw that nobody was there. It was very strange. The little newborn child was lying on a table. It didn't move, and I was wondering if it too had died. But when I wanted to walk away, the little one woke up and started screaming in utter despair. And that was a cry that entered into the innermost part of my soul. And then suddenly, I felt a huge pain after having experienced this great bliss. Previously, I was given a preview of this little one's future, future life too, and I saw that it didn't proceed that smoothly, and that he now needed his mother, and that's exactly me.”7:41

“Well, here I did experience that that feeling from somebody else, that same feeling of ideal parents. As you know, I wasn't raised with my parents. I was raised in an old girl, a strict, very strict Catholic boarding school in Brussels. So, um, here, what, what I could feel when I raised my daughter, I could feel, oh, that's how it feels to be unconditionally loved. And I was experiencing as I was raising my daughter, I was experiencing for the first time all the emotion that I should have felt if a mother had loved me, or if a parent had loved me.”19:51

“And after we had delivered the baby and and Mom's goes one way, and we would have to, uh, take the baby to the nursery. We had NICU, um, intensive care, because so many of these kids were so sick. Um, I don't know when the soul finally went into it, or did it? You know, I don't know if that baby survived or not. It's so many, uh, fetal demises. Um, but what a blessing that was. You know, maybe, maybe 20% of the babies I got to see that. I got to, why, why did I get to share, share that on the other ones I didn't see? Did the baby come in earlier? Um, was it just not chosen for me to be the witness to that particular spirit? Just an absolutely amazing, wonderful blessing that I had in my life to get to experience that. And I shut my eyes, I can see them right now.”41:04

“And all of a sudden, that just transformed. It was like as if I closed my eyes with this feeling of peace, and then I arrived at the very original place again with the Blessed Mother and Jesus. And this understanding, and this time, he was more like if you can imagine larger than life, as if there's a larger sun, and I'm microscopic. So from this place, but it seemed as though the Blessed Mother kind of in front of me, and I saw her holding an infant. And I saw her kiss this infant. And then handed it to my mom. And my mom, of course, my dad are alive, they're on the other side, they're here. And I, and this awareness was, I had a child. Oh my god, not on the day that my daughter's born, I'm not going to leave her motherless.”14:26

“left the body and were in this situation in the ICU, You said you saw your son. Yes. You felt ... How was the feeling you had for him ... was it like it was with your daughter? The same thing. I did not feel any concern for him. It was as if I was seeing a stranger. There was not... Later I thought ... "wow, I did not have feelings for my children" ... But it was as if I had not ... it's as if he was a stranger. Even your son? Yes. Your son and your daughter? We are very attached to each other. My family is very close, very attached.”16:11

“The rest was just fetuses. How has this experience changed your life? It changed ... because... as I said... I was very anxious, I was very afraid of losing my daughter, Today I see her as being independent. Of course I'll keep guiding, I'll keep loving her, protecting her, but... she's going to have her own experiences. She is independent of me. She was born of me but she is not "me". I understand this today, not before. Before, I suffered a lot, when the idea of ​​death came to me, leaving her alone,”28:55

“I got to see the person one more time in their light being state. I believe it. It was, it was like a healing, um, just because I was so broken at that point. I think just life in general, and and I, and I still, I just wanted a baby too.”29:52

“can I see my babies?" I, you know, as a mom, I've never experienced that feeling or understood what it was like to lose a child or miscarriage. I never could grasp that experience. And so, I was praying like, I want to see my children, gone. And he did. Um, first he told me, "No, you're not ready to." But then a week later, he I was praying and crying and he took me up into heaven and I got to see my son who was first born or like miscarried, which I didn't even know about. And I got to see my daughter. My”65:01

“the presence of that hug but it was the only dream like that I had after I had it with the baby, you know, but I didn't have it with this being anymore It wasn't just right there, that dream with your daughter changed a little, your feeling reassured you in some way, how was that, yes, it calms you down a little , right? I carried her on my lap but I carried her I always held her in my belly so I took that off I never picked her up because I carried her for 9 months, right, you felt somehow that there was an organization outside of this environment in which we live, I”16:59

“The closest I can describe it, really, and it doesn't even come close, was really remembering when my first child was born and holding him and just locking eyes with him, feeling a love overtake me that I really had never felt for anybody before, and knowing that we would be connected forever on a spiritual level.”4:29

“The closest I can describe it really, and it doesn't even come close, was really remembering when my my first child was born and holding him and just locking eyes with him, feeling a love overtake me that I really had never felt for anybody before and knowing that we would be connected forever on a on a spiritual level.”5:34

“I was then given glimpses of life ahead, still to be lived. Those included the seeming challenges I would face along with all the precious beauty that was inherent within them. I was shown the children that I would birth into the world. I felt my love for them and theirs for me, along with the love between me and many others yet to come into my life.”16:39

“And then I had the feeling almost instantly that I was being held the way a baby is held by a parent. I couldn't see anything because all I saw was the light, but it can know things without seeing them visually. And I knew that the parent was embracing me, and I knew that the parent was pouring his love into me. I was ready to just hang out there forever. I was so complete and happy, and I loved the parent too. That's one thing I can say. I had loved that.”16:19

“maternal to be in that space. And I always felt bliss and a high sense of love. And they were small like it was just feeling more seen than I'd ever felt. Felt feeling more connected than I had ever felt. Feeling not alone. always feeling like there was someone with me. You know that feeling when you feel like someone's watching you? I always felt that, but it wasn't as though someone's watching me. It was someone's presence was with me. And I feel like that is actually a a natural space for us um”18:14

“pregnancy, you wonder what's my baby going to look like? What's my baby going to look like? And you can't wait to meet them. And when I looked at her, I felt like I had known her forever. That she was so familiar. I remember thinking, "Oh, of course that's what you look like." like I I know this face. It was really unexpected and to me it was a spiritual thing because uh it just felt like a spiritual connection, you know. And anyway, and then a couple days later when I was holding her at home, I”7:29